As a Classical Feng Shui enthusiast, you might be well aware that Star 3 is a troublemaker, causing misunderstandings and arguments. From my long years of practice, I have noticed that teaching my clients the transactional analysis in communication will significantly improve and neutralize the overall negative effect of Star 3. However, you still need to have your remedies in place for the energy to vanish completely.
If you were reading some of my older posts, I continuously mention that a human being has to do their share, too, for the Feng Shui Qi energy to produce positive events.
As Star energies can either create good or bad events, it all depends on your state of mind and body health. A great starting point is to look into the transactional analysis in communication is to improve your talking skills with family members and colleagues at work.
What is Transactional analysis in communication?
In short, we all communicate with one of our egos to another person. Often, if the wrong ego is chosen for the given situation, the conversation will go sour, ending up in disagreement or arguments. The main goal is to select one of the three ego stages (later on more) for the conversation to manifest and archive the communication goal. Unfortunately, many times it is more difficult as it initially seems. As in Feng Shui K Star 9Ki, we say that we communicate through our organs (liver, kidney …), and each other’s temperament and ego can change, producing negative emotions.
The Transactional Analysis of communication was developed by the psychologist Eric Berne, in 1960. It gave his patients a better understanding and help of transmitting feelings to their loved ones or any two people talking to each other.
What advantages does the Transactional Analysis in communication give me?
The transactional analysis in communication provides the most efficient way to successfully communicate with people with who you are close. It will give you more insight to discuss very delicate and sensitive topics without getting the other person in a negative state of mind:
- Successfully discussing relevant topics
- It works only with close family members or friends (not with far distance people)
The Basics of the Transactional Analysis in communication
In the Transactional Analysis of communication as well as in Feng Shui, we can say:
- A person can think and make decisions on his/her own
- A person’s destiny is not set in stone, and the power of choice can change a person’s future throughout life
There are three states of ego every person has:
- The Parents Ego (past) – Concept of being Taught
- The Adult Ego (present) – Concept of our Thoughts
- The Child Ego (past) – Concept of our Feelings
The Parents Ego
Also interesting: 5 ways to stop negative thoughts
The parent ego stands for all the character teachings from our past while growing up. Parents, school teachers, family members, and neighbors taught us behavior etiquette of how we should talk, care, and behave. It is basically the whole upbringing which conditions your parents’ ego. Of course, we have to see two sides of the coin:
The parents’ ego can show positive attitudes such as love, caring, and correcting naughty behavior. You will hear phrases such as: “never do this again; always remember this.”
On the other hand, negative attitudes such as abuse and criticizing can also influence this ego state. You might experience:” finger pointing, impatient, yelling, hitting, you never do anything right, why are you born, nagging words, judgemental words, angry”
The parent ego is impossible to change, as there are only ways and techniques to alter the child and the adult ego.
The Adult Ego
A must read: Overcome your midlife crisis and be successful
The adult ego takes care of common-sense situations in the present such as choosing what jeans and shirts you are going to wear today. Also, events such as having small talk with your neighbor or explaining a colleague something do fall under the adult ego.
The events do happen emotionless without much feeling. To cross-check yourself if you are currently in the adult ego state or not, check your emotions. Are there any emotions present or not?
Some attributes of the adult ego: calm body language, curious about specific topics, smooth talking, asking neutral questions like why, how, and where
The Child Ego
Read further: Helpful Feng Shui Health Tips
The child’s ego is in charge when our internal emotions and senses (hear, smell, sight, touch) to all external events in life form and surface. Whenever you becomes emotionally affected, the child ego takes over and is in control.
Attributes of the child ego:
- Sad emotions
- Happy emotions,
- Facial expressions like shaking head or shrugging the shoulder
- SPOKEN WORDS:
- I wish, I am going to do this or that
- I don’t care about this
- Please, why this happens to me again
- Not again a Bad hair day
- Biggest success or biggest nightmare of my life
How does transactional analysis work?
The transactional analysis work while interacting with another person. The person who starts a conversation is called the “agent,” and the other one who interacts is called the “respondent” with the simple idea that an exchange of giving and taking should be in place all the time.
However, there is a problem: While having a conversation, your unconscious mind might switch from one ego state to another one. In other words, this scenario creates negative organ emotions and can lead to fighting and arguments.
Communication and interaction of Ego states
We interact and show feelings to the outside world with either one of the ego states. Please keep in mind that our subconscious mind does control which ego state will surface depending on how you feel. Keep in mind that your ego state can suddenly change from one to another in a matter of seconds. Therefore, it is essential to have a deep understanding of which ego state you are currently in.
RULES OF HAVING A SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATIONS
10% Spoken Words – 30% Meaning How you Say it – 60% Facial Expression
A prerequisite for having a smooth chat is that the sending ego or who starts the conversation must be in the same state as the receiver (your communication partner). For example, if the sending Ego is Parent to child, then the response must be Child to Parent.
Do not forget to read: Moon Phases in Feng Shui
There are three kinds of interaction we can have:
Before explaining the different types of interaction, please be aware that each conversation comprises three stages:
- Your spoken words
- The response you like to receive (subconscious)
- The actual response you get from the other person.
The Complementary Ego State (adult-adult or parent-child)
The complementary ego state usually is quite smooth as both parties are on the same wavelength. Their thinking and responses are all in sync and expected. Here are some examples for a better understanding:
ADULT – ADULT Conversation:
Wife: You were drinking again last night and never cared about the children
Husband: You are right; it is my fault. I will not do it again and care more about the kids
Everything is very smooth and understanding. Pleasant emotions are in play here.
PARENT – CHILD Conversation
Wife: Again, my migraine is terrible today. I think my head explodes
Husband: I am so sorry to hear, I will get you some herbal medicine and gently massage your forehead with some balm to ease the headaches
Again a very smooth and understanding conversation, the wife’s child ego of emotions is being activated, and due to the understanding of the husband, his parent ego is active.
Crossed Transaction Ego States:
If two states are not in sync, a problem is going to happen, and either person might develop negative emotions to the other person. As a result, the communication will fail, and arguments are a sure thing.
An easy solution will help to get things back to normal. The receiver or respondent in the communication needs to take action avoiding the situation going out of control. Even if the respondent does not agree with the receiver, he/she needs to back up to archive peace.
Wife: Why did you go out and had drinks with your colleagues again after work
Husband: Feels annoyed, and the response is snippy: And? Why can’t I spend some time to relax from all the hard work? I am the one working all day long under a lot of stress.
Clearly, the husband does not agree with the wife on this topic. However, he needs to escape his ego state and switch over to the same state as the wife is in now. At the current moment, there is no point in arguing further. You can do it at a later time when the temper cools down on both sides.
Advantages of transactional analysis
Pay close attention to what the ego state of the other person is at the moment. Once you are aware of it, respond in accordance to this ego state only. Also, check your own behavior on what ego state you are communicating with other people. If you notice a sudden change from one ego state to another ego state, try to correct it right away and go back.
Overall, you should try to produce more positive emotions in your life. Please remember that organs produce emotions, which influences your overall health and Qi energy flow inside your body. Staying positive will significantly enhance your overall well-being, limiting any negative feelings.
Doing home Xuan Kong Flying Star adjustments in combination with a great healthy mind will provide you much more chances to survive, archive, and manifest all of your desires.